burrs in my saddle

Is it just me, or are a lot of people completely irritating?  It is probably just me.  Me, the belly, and the temperature.  Would you like to hear some examples from the past few days? (Why, yes, please!)


At swimming lessons I was told by the director that my kids could use kickboards and other toys in the baby pool, as she pointed out where they were located.  So, every time we go we grab a couple of things to use and then put them back when we're finished.  Last week we made our usual trip to the absolute opposite side of the pool (very arduous for me, keep in mind, since it is very far and extremely hot in there since it is indoor and we're baking under the skylights) to get some things and I hear someone yelling at me.  I turn around in confusion and see an older lady instructor, in the middle of teaching a lesson, screaming at me that I can't use the kickboards.  I kind of shout back that we're just taking it back to the baby pool to be a boat. She says, "No can do, they're dangerous if you don't use them right -- they're only for swimming laps."  I look down and see that I am in my swimming suit and will be right next to Phin in the pool, if she is really worried about his safety, she doesn't need to be.  I decide not to push it and move on and ask him if he'd like to choose a noodle.  Then I hear someone yelling at me again.  Really?  I turn around and she screams, "Those are only for kids taking lessons.  You can't use those at all."  I get up some gumption and tell her that the director told me herself that I could use those things, but she just yelled back so I simply grabbed Phin's hand and stalked off.  I can't compete with such obnoxiousness.  I don't know her, I don't want to talk to her, her students are probably drowning while she's worried about what I'm doing, I'm nine months pregnant...  Easily cowed is what I am.


Next.  We need a car with eight seats so we have spent the last few months trying to locate a good deal on a used minivan -- to no avail!  There are no good deals out there at all, so we have come to the conclusion that it would probably be the best idea to just buy new since they're not losing their value.  This is a new path for us so we were a little giddy as we traipsed down to the Toyota dealership, armed with information, to ask some questions and maybe go for a test drive.  We walk in and there's a guy behind a desk.  We wait for him to look up.  Wait, wait.  Finally he asks what we're interested in.  A minivan. "You and everyone else," he replies charmingly.  "Well, you can go out to the lot, I think there's one unlocked."  Gee, thanks.  So we go out and look around, there isn't one unlocked, no one comes out to talk to us, we decide to leave.  The guy never got up from behind his desk!  Hello, we'd like to spend $30,000, do you mind?  This town is crazy when it comes to customer service.


Third.  I was at the pool.  We like to go in the late afternoon, early evening, because it isn't as crowded or as hot.  It was about 5:15 and I look over and see a mom say to her little boy, "Close your eyes" and then proceed to spray his face with sunscreen.  He was screaming!  And she was just going for it.  And I was shaking my head.  1. Can't you put some into your hand and gently put some on his face, carefully avoiding his eye area?  2. It is quite late in the day, do you realize how slim his chances are for being sunburned at this time?  3.  Would you rather be slightly tan or BLIND?


Five minutes later I was playing in the pool and see a cute little family consisting of parents and 18 month old, or so, twin girls.  Then I hear them yell out their girls' names:  "Ila, don't go too far!"  Oh, that's pretty.  "Grayson, stay over here!"  What?  Is that not a boys name, meaning son of Gray or something?  And I as observe more closely I see that favored, little Ila has blonde curly hair, and poor misused Grayson has straight, nondescript brown. Were we thinking?  It is like a complex waiting to happen!  It's probably spelled Graysyn.  Blech!


I think I need to have this baby.

our story... is depressing

You know it's bad when your pregnancy center update says, "Your baby: week 1."  Tell me all about that, I'd love to know more.  This happened with Phin, too and I never could convince them that I was still pregnant.  I guess no one goes past their due date anymore, even though technically full-term is 38 to 42 weeks.  Today I took the kids to the children's museum and someone asked me when I was due.  I said I was past due and she started going on and on about how she was sure I was begging my doctor to induce, etc.  I said no, I'd been induced once and never wanted to do that again.  She then told me how she had never gone longer than two weeks before her due date and she was so uncomfortable, blah, blah, blah.  Like I'm not uncomfortable - ha!


On Sunday evening the Nauvoo pageant core cast put on a performance here at ISU called "Our Story Goes On."  I thought it was going to be like the pageant and include church history, but it really had no church songs or anything and was instead about families.  It started with a woman having a baby, comparing her experience to her mother and grandmother before her, which is a theme I cherish, then it moved on to young parenthood, children leaving, parents dying -- you know, life.  Real, down and dirty, life and I was literally (not metaphorically) bawling and thinking "life sucks."  And I don't say that lightly because I abhor that word, okay?  You can get all excited about a new baby, but you know it will last all of about one minute so what is the point?  I kept trying to get control of myself, especially because I've got Phin staring up at my face, completely distraught, "Mommy sad?"  "No," I reply through my tears, "Mommy is fine," as I shakily try to smile, but then they start singing Sunrise, Sunset and I am off again.  You can see the lyrics here if you, too, would like a good cry.  I think about Ella -- when did she get to be a beauty?  And Charles -- when did he grow to be so tall?  They were toddlers last week!  And I have regrets.  And then you mix all the emotion in with the contrasting thoughts of some days just being so long and tortuous.  And then a whole part about parents growing older and returning to see their families again in heaven.  My oh my.  I feel like I have my finger in so many pies.  Did we really shout for joy when we heard about this plan?  I don't know ...


So I thought of a great retort when people ask me how I'm doing.  And they're not just saying how are you, they're saying how ARE you, all inflected and sympathetic.  I thought I would just say, "Great!  Great with child, that is."  Wanh, wah.  Matthew didn't think it was funny either.

Up(due)dates

There are a variety of reasons I haven't written for a while: We've been gone, it's summer and there is usually someone who wants to be on the computer, there hasn't been anything else too disgusting to report (isn't the theme fear factor?), I'm lazy...  That about covers it.  I've been trying to get everything squared away before the baby comes.  I always do that, thinking that for the next year I won't be able to do anything, and then, surprisingly enough, find that I actually can leave the house with a baby and usually have a bit more energy than I do while pregnant.  But with school starting so soon afterward I've been trying to get all the school registration, school shopping, physicals, etc. finished so we won't be running around at the last minute.  I don't think I ever shared the hilarious story of Lucy getting her finger pricked to check her iron levels.  Lucy was trying her best to look the other way and ignore what was happening, but the nurse kept talking about how much blood was coming out until it finally started having an effect and I noticed that Lucy was as white as a sheet.  I quickly told her to lie down, but the nurse just grabbed her finger and kept squeezing.   It was too late -- Lucy threw up all over the table.  I ran over to help her, but started gagging and apologizing about how I was more sensitive because I'm pregnant, then I looked over and saw that Ibby was completely green so I opened the door and repeatedly asked her if she was going to lose it, gesturing toward the bathroom.  In the meantime, the nurse was merely clearing away her tools and then reluctantly handed me some paper towels as her halfhearted effort in helping me clean up Lucy's mess.  I did my best to clean off the table, telling Lucy to stay where she was until she didn't feel dizzy, Ibby wandered back in and laid down on the floor, Phin just looked baffled by all the uproar, and I sat down and surveyed the triage scene.  No one came back in to check on us, no one offered to help me clean up anything, no one cared at all.  Finally we slunked out of the office, with Lucy throwing up again on the way home.  Phin thought it was all very exciting and keeps talking about it.  The other night he came in my room and kept repeating what I thought was "I falling off."  I couldn't understand, but he finally grabbed my hand and pulled me into the bathroom where he proceeded to throw up.  Ahh, "I frowing up."  Wow.  My only child who can successfully make it to the toilet with nary a mess anywhere else.  I think he just ate something funny because he wasn't sick at all.  I guess that story was pretty gross.  I should post a warning on my blog.


So we are having such a nice summer.  Someone mentioned the other day that school was starting in less than a month and I started my annual moan about how I hate school and they said that I was the only mother they'd ever met who felt that way.  I know that a lot of my friends feel the same way that I do.  I am DREADING school and how we'll have three separate start times, my husband will be teaching seminary and an 8:00 class so I won't be able to rely on him to help with the morning routine, and I just MIGHT be slightly tired and hormonal.  We can do it!


Eleanor has had a nice little babysitting job and has been having a great time with friends.  On Sunday she was called out of the audience to give a little impromptu talk in sacrament meeting.  She was so calm and just walked up there with a big smile, made a joke about how she was asked to talk about Youth Conference, and gave a great talk.  We were very proud of her.  (If it had been me, there might have been more mention of vomit).  That evening we went with her to get her patriarchal blessing.  What a wonderful experience that was!  We all felt the spirit very strongly.  On the way home we asked her what her impressions were and she said, "I'm just relieved he didn't say that I already knew my future husband."  Whew!


Charles is also babysitting this summer and doing a great job.  He registered and paid for himself to run a 15K a few weeks ago and ran it in 1 hour and 1 minute, coming in 55th out of 800 people.  He runs in the morning and evening and won't eat any sugar.  We always knew he got obsessed about things, and are glad it is now something a little more productive than Runescape was when he was 11.


Lucy and Ibby find amazing things to do every day.  They always have some grand scheme going on whether it be an art project, dressing up, or barbiepollyamericangirl world.  And they entertain Phin to boot.  I couldn't be happier.


Phin is just super cute.  He loved seeing his grandparents and keeps talking about them.  And everything he says is funny.  A couple of days ago we were out driving and the car next to us had a dog sticking his head out the window, looking up with his mouth open.  Phin said, "Mom, that doggie is eating the sky."


As for me, I'm not making many plans.  Waiting, waiting, slightly apprehensive, but getting more ready and closer to surrendering -- willing to do whatever it takes.  Still haven't thought of a name or packed a bag so perhaps I should get on that.