"Nothing more than feelings!"

So the first point in my parenting book is to not deny your children's feelings. I thought, 'Oh, I don't do that. I let them feel everything to the max.' And then I started listening to myself. I am always telling them that they're not mad, they're not bored, they're ready for bed, they need to use the bathroom, stop crying, don't be frustrated, deny, deny, deny! That seems to be a primary goal of each day. I am trying to practice this week. Last night we went to a program at the girls' school. The baby was crawling on the wood floor of the gym, lost his balance, and face planted right into the floor. I quickly scooped him up, patted his back, and said, "You're okay, you're okay..." I suddenly broke off and thought, 'Wait, he is not okay. It is not okay to smack your face into the floor. How would I feel if that had happened to me?' So I suddenly switched gears and said, "Oh, that really hurts. Your face does not feel good. That hurts, that hurts." I need to learn an entirely new language!

Charles has a scout campout tonight and the low is going to be 15˚. He kept asking all afternoon if I had received any phone calls with cancellation news. Alas, no. I feel bad that he has to go, but if he complained to me my initial response would probably be, "You're not cold."

Parent Trap

I am beginning to perceive that I seem to be in some sort of parenting crisis lately. I just finished reading "How To Talk So Kids Will Listen" and it was a wealth of knowledge and wisdom. I just love recognizing myself as the person in all of the bad examples -- especially when they are things that I was sure was the right thing. Like telling my kids that how they're doing something is wrong and showing them the right way to do it because if I don't do it, who will? Well, it hasn't really been working and lo and behold I am crushing their self-confidence right and left. The world is full of people who will tell them when they're not measuring up and I just need to confirm their rightness. It feels so much better. The other books on my shelf are "Raising Self-Reliant Children" and "Parenting with Love and Logic," and I just ordered "How to Talk so Kids Will Learn." For the most part I feel like we are a happy functioning family, but there are moments when my kids leave me completely baffled. I feel like I am getting a handle on younger kids and think I am a better mommy than I was a few years ago, but my poor oldest kids get a rookie mom every year. I have never had a 5, 10, 12, 14 year old! And on it goes. I just want them to grow up to be happy, healthy, and confident and I am afraid that instead of nurturing I chip away too often. I will try to do better and trust in God for the rest. I also want to really know my kids before they're off and away. My oldest will be gone in less than 4 years and I want her to want to come back! As I was chatting with my friend Julie this past weekend I found two more books that I went ahead and ordered -- "The People Code" and "Delivered from Distraction." They're on their way and I am confident that all of these tools will help me unlock the mysteries of motherhood and we will, of course, then go on to live happily ever after.

Oh, Julie it was funny that we were talking about the color code and then I was reading seriously so blessed (very funny blog, but occasionally a smidge over the line) and she was talking about how she is not a red. I was laughing because that is just what we were talking about - that reds never recognize themselves -- ha, ha, ha. But I am certainly not red.

Weekstart

It is Monday again -- kids off to school √ , laundry in washing machine √, renewed dedication to diet √, writing in blog √, reading all my friend's blogs √, round of word challenge √. I guess I need to make a list of all of the important things I should be doing.

We had a whirlwind weekend trip over to Nauvoo. It was really nice that the gas prices are so low!!! Can you believe it? Every time I pass the gas station I want to pull in and buy some and am disappointed when my tank is full. So it was a good time to go for a long drive. It is always crazy how much preparation is required to stay over one night. You might as well go for a week as for a day. I am sure our hosts were glad we didn't come for a week. We stayed the night at our friend's house. They were so hospitable and kind, we felt very welcome and comfortable. We knew the Stout's in Japan and it is so nice how easy it is to slip back into familiarity -- even the kids who had never really met! They all just woke up and started playing with no awkwardness. I love it! Matthew took all of the older kids to do baptisms and then he and I went to a session. It was really nice to go to the temple. I hadn't been since before the baby. It was lovely, calm, and peaceful. I always feel renewed -- until I lose my temper in the car on the way home. Oops! So THANK YOU Julie, Brock and fam! I appreciate you watching the kids, yummy food, good conversation, etc. etc. You have a beautiful home and family.


I got a new camera. It is always an agonizing process for me. I look on ebay for good deals, but inevitably miss the end of the auction. I search the web for the lowest price then my husband comes along and tells me the cheapest place also scams people. I eventually just went to a store in town which is just a little too simple for the way I operate. As I was researching what to get, Charles asked, "Were you going to buy a new camera before I was playing around with yours and the next time you picked it up it didn't turn on?" Actually, that is not exactly what he said. My reply was, "No I was not even considering getting a new camera!" But I can't miss baby moments and Charles seems to be changing as much as the baby is. He is suddenly so big and tall I am surprised he isn't in pain! So I have a new one and here is the inaugural pic and one from the car.

Serving With Smiles

My niece, Liz Jeffrey, has started an service organization for kids. I think it is a wonderful idea. You can check it out here.

Full-fledged autumn

There is a curious lightness about fall that I always forget about. It is kind of like when you rearrange the furniture in a room and it all looks fresh and unfamiliar. There were some very gusty days last week and it seemed like in one afternoon our trees turned yellow and dropped their millions of leaves. We do, as always, have one stubborn tree that likes to stay green until it snows. Every year we get to go out a try to rake the sodden (sodding!) mess so our grass won't die. My theory on why this particular tree is so late is that it is directly behind our dryer vent and since I do so much laundry I have created my own little micro-climate out there. Who knows. Back to light. I must say that by March I am quite tired of the bare sticks that are trees, but in November they are strangely lovely. Everything looks decluttered and simplified, the earth refashions itself in monochromatic grays and tans with a little of that dark autumn green thrown in, and the light in my house changes. My living room is filled with early afternoon sun that is blocked during the summer and there is a sunny spot on my landing that makes me want to curl up and take a nap -- oh where is my chaise lounge? So even though I hate to see the long, warm days come to an end, it is always nice to have a change, eat a warm dinner in a bright room surrounded by comforting darkness, and stock up on hot chocolate.

Disengaged

Our internet modem went out sometime Tuesday night and I was completely unconnected to the outside world all day yesterday. I know! I actually survived, but it was strange to realize how dependent I am. I kept thinking of things I wanted to look up, or people I needed to e-mail and I couldn't. I did, however, get a lot of other things done. How strange is that? It has obviously been fixed now, thank goodness!

Also on Tuesday I went to download our pictures from Halloween and also take yet another adorable photo of my Phin doing something darling and my camera wouldn't turn on. Will the destruction and mayhem ever stop? I am tired of having to spend money on things I thought I already owned.

Occupied

We have been incredibly busy for the last two weeks. We finally got the cd that we have been waiting for since June so there has been a lot of the packing, sealing, addressing, etc. going on. Last week we took about 7,000 domestic packages to the post office and my challenge this week is to get the huge amount of international orders out. Matthew has been overseeing all of that plus his tenure documentation was due last Friday. The kids didn't have school that day so I sent Lulu downstairs to get something (that's what I do when they're home -- secure their services), she came up and asked if there was something wrong with daddy. "I don't know," I replied, "what is he doing?" "He is walking around the basement saying 'Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh." 'Hmmm,' thought I, 'Perhaps we should vacate the premises.' So we left him to his stress and visited the annual box maze. This thing is amazing. A local church builds a huge maze out of boxes complete with slides, dead ends, etc. It is completely dark in there, but if you get really stuck someone will come along with a light to help you find your way. They relate it to the gospel of Christ and it is nice and fun. Then we got ready for Halloween and went to a friendly friend's house for dinner which was totally nice of them. It was all around a completely insane day.

Today is marvelously gorgeous outside -- the skies are the amazing bright blue of autumn which coordinates so nicely with the gold and vermilion leaves. And it is my absolute favorite temperature -- 68˚, what's yours?

seven months

I just think it is so cute when he is sitting back on

his chubby little knees -- I can hardly stand it!