Tuesday, February 21, 2017

What Does a Leaf Know

Does a brittle, prime 
past leaf, plucked
from its cozy life
by an errant breeze,
wonder why it is
somersaulting precariously
through the air? Does
it question where
it is being tossed? Or
when it might once
again tumble jarringly
to a stop? Would
knowing change its
capacity for delight?
Or change the fact
that, in the end, we are
all inexpressibly, unalterably
alone?

Monday, February 20, 2017

Sunday Speculation

Matthew has a new calling in the High Council at church.  Our stake is quite large so this will require some traveling, both to weekly stake meetings, but also to visit different wards and branches.  His assigned ward is one that meets in our building, which is very nice, but yesterday he had to visit and speak at a branch in Kewanee, Illinois.  It is about an hour and a half away and their meeting started at 10:00 so I accompanied him.  When we arrived, we were pretty much ignored by everyone, but then right before the meeting began they asked Matthew to play the piano and me to lead the singing!  I don't know what the plan was otherwise... so Matthew got up and down a few times for that and then gave a wonderful talk about gratitude.

It has been so sunny and warm, it was a perfect day for a long drive.  We chatted about our future, so I have some new adventures up my sleeve, and then we listened to the best On Being podcast about love!  I always love them, and always think the last one I heard was the best, but we were laughing, I cried a little, it was cathartic.

I was in a very very bad mood yesterday, but the little trip was helpful -- it is always good to get out of the confines of town and see the countryside!
 Matthew adores getting his picture taken, so I make sure to oblige as much as possible

Today is President's Day!  We were going to go clean the CYFS, but I think they're closed for the day.  Now we're going to meet some friends at the park for an early lunch, some other friends for a little play date, hopefully I'll find some time to exercise, and I still really want to tackle that garage!  It's eating at me...

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Why So Warm?

The weather here is being absolutely bonkers for February!!!  Judging from the reports I'm seeing on facebook, it is unusually warm all over the place.  On Friday it reached 70˚ so we went to the park with friends and had such a great time.  The wind was blowing... because we live in Illinois... but otherwise it was lovely.

On Saturday the boys both had basketball games in the morning so we got those under our belts, I went shopping with a friend, and then we totally chilled the rest of the day.  Matthew and I both had headaches, so our grand scheme of finally cleaning out the garage was set aside for yet another day.  Another warm one is bound to show up again, right?


After dinner we watched an episode of "A Series of Unfortunate Events."  Matthew told the boys that if they got ready for bed within 7 minutes then he'd give them a piggy back ride from the basement to bed.  They both did it!  So he tried to follow through with both of them...
That lasted just about long enough for me to snap a pic!  So I carried the lighter one.

As much as I am relishing the summery reprieve, I can't help but be slightly alarmed by it.  What does it mean over the long term?  Will we have a sweltering summer?  Will the bugs be enormous?  Because it really isn't worth living here if we start having to co-habitate with gigantic cockroaches.  Seriously.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

I Crave Light


Some people
find it soothing,
the grayness,
but I find it suffocating --
draining the world
of its variety and color
smudging the details
at the edges.

I crave light.

Once an opaque plane,
the ice on the
kitchen window transforms
into a thousand glittering
crystals, each one a
snowflake of
incomprehensible beauty,
captured on glass
to extend its fleeting
existence.

I crave light.

Once dark, abbreviated days
at year's end,
illuminated by
singing, bells, old
friendships renewed --
by a thousand
acts of glittering
kindness.

Not all grayness
Not all light
is surface: we allow one --
or the other --
to infuse, consume
become part of us,

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Pay Attention

I found you again!
stretched out cozy
dark evenings, temperatures 
falling, radiators hissing
nature patiently prodding,
pushing us to ponder
(reflect) on this latest
rung in our life
spiral, as we spin
headlong into the
next layer.

Holiday busy-ness
fills each moment --
cards caroling crafts
concerts -- (deflect)ing
introspection.

The perennial rhythm --
hushed tones, muffled
palette, the cocoon of
muted light, remind us:
pause, plan,

pay attention.

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

One November

One November, when
I needed them most,
all of my words

bowed out. No way
to explain, no language
to make sense of

our surreal new reality;
leaving me with a body
waking in the predawn

light to lift weights and
sweat, guided by Mother
Moon to run and run

on soggy trails through
a dying landscape, and
yoga -- hoping to twist

the knots out of my
stomach and dislodge
the despair settling into

my lower right hip.

Am I preparing
for battle?

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Election Night Haiku

This is so scary
I think I'm going to throw up
It must be fiction


I wasn't worried
He has shown his true colors
Weren't they listening?
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