order envy

It seems like every year at this time magazines are brimming with advice on how to be more organized (yes, this means that I have succumbed to subscribing to those  again, which is not helping my cluttering ways (woes?)), but I can't help but get all excited as they regurgitate the same information over and over -- use baskets! transform a closet into an office! label everything! hide everything! get rid of everything!  I can do that!  Except that I can never find baskets that fit in those spaces, and I don't have a closet to transform, wouldn't that be awesome?  And I seem to have a labeling disability since I've had two dozen matching spice jars waiting for me to fill them and label them for at least two years -- I even found a template for stickers to apply to their lids, but haven't managed to buy the right paper at an office supply store.  And I'd love to hide everything, but that takes us back to the extra closet issue, and I'd really love to get rid of everything, but as nice as that sounds it isn't completely reasonable since we acquired those things for a reason and use at least some of them occasionally (14 pairs of baby legs, mmmm).  Sigh!  


I did, however, tackle one very troublesome spot.  More than a spot really -- my whole bedroom!  I like my room to be serene, a place to get away from the chaos and bedlam, so I've painted it a calming color and try to keep it tidy, but recently we added yet another human being to the mix and sadly, there wasn't really anywhere to stuff him and his paraphernalia (cloth diapers, muslin blankets, baby legs!) besides our room.  Last spring I went through a brief period of obsession about dressers, but quickly realized that we didn't really have room for a dresser, and not only that, someone was going to leave within a year and then we wouldn't really need the extra furniture.  I won't go into the details of who might be leaving the nest, it's really just too sad to mention (or even contemplate for that matter).  So, knowing in the back of my mind that we would really only have to get through one year I decided to just use baskets for the baby's clothes, diapers, burp rags, blankets, shoes, wipes, toys (whew!  babies have a lot of c?!#) -- without remembering that although those things may be tiny and adorable, they still take up quite a bit of space and after a few weeks my bedroom was anything but tranquil and serene -- it looked a lot like a baby store had thrown up in there!  What to do?  My lovely next door neighbor is expecting a baby and she bought some storage with baskets from Ikea and is using the top for a changing table -- Hallelujah! I could practically feel the breeze from the angels flying above my head!  It was exactly the thing for my conundrum and can be used in other parts of the house later.

She has one big shelf with eight openings, but I bought the two with four so that it can be more flexible later.  They hold everything and I have never had a changing table before!  I have always changed my babies' diapers on the floor, but I have gotten way too old for that kind of nonsense -- I can barely get all the way up by myself let alone while holding someone -- so that is an added luxury.  I have dreamed up so many different ways of using it in the future I just might have to get some more.

I guess "they" were right -- putting everything in baskets!  and hiding everything!  really does work.  Now if I can just find big enough baskets for the children.  I've already labelled them.

photo up(over)load

I've been remiss in posting pictures of our little Archie so I'll try to catch up a little bit here. 
::t - 5 days; 41 weeks pregnant

 ::not the best picture, but you can see that he is tongue tied

 ::four days old

 ::seven days old

 ::eleven days old

 ::two weeks old

 ::three weeks old

 ::he's always thought he was big enough to hold his head -- from the first day!

 ::four weeks old

 ::blessing day

 ::five weeks old

 ::six weeks old

 ::seven weeks old; matching boys -- I bought the tiny one at goodwill and my friend said she had a matching shirt Phin's size in her closet -- perfect!

 ::I love how Phin is still trying to smile even though the baby's crying is stressing him out!

He sleeps a lot and still makes the cute newborn purring sounds.  He is super sweet!

eight days a week

I know I must look quite like a woman of leisure sitting in a chair all day long doing sudoku puzzles, reading magazines -- oh, and nursing!  I had forgotten that it is a 24 hour endeavor keeping a newborn alive.  He is just so busy all the time and everything he does is completely breathtaking -- working so hard at expelling waste with a serious expression complete with furrowed brow, taking lots of naps (mostly on mommy), and looking around in a panic the minute his eyes open as if to say, "I'm awake, why aren't I eating???" and then his little jaw pumping so efficiently.  From the sound of things that may be where we are right at moment.  I may have to take a little break here.


Okay.  We're back.  It is very ironic because although I am exhausted from my new sleeping schedule, I have much more energy than I did when pregnant.  Now I can actually think of doing something and then go do it instead of staring into space!   Except when I am stuck in a chair with a baby who won't let me put him down, which is pretty much always, thus leaving me frustrated and gritting my teeth whilst I stare into space.  Alas, the more things change, the more they stay the same.  Last week I decided to take a shower (I know!  Lofty goals around here!)  I told Ibby to poke her head in and let me know if the baby started crying.  I needed to soak something in the sink so I did that and then jumped in.  I figured as long as I was in there I should just clean the bathtub since the baby was sleeping anyway, but then when I turned off the water I could hear two disturbing things:  1.  Very frantic screaming, like it had been going on for some time and 2. Water still running.  I had left the sink on and it had overflowed all through the bathroom and even out into the hall!  And when I questioned why no one had told me the baby was crying -- "Oh, I forgot," was the casual reply.  He was so loud and in the very next room!  Why does that sound only bother me?  I quickly tried to put something on and take care of baby first and worry about the flood later. That is pretty much how well the household is running.  


I had to take the baby to his two week appointment so I called the day before and said:


"Hello, my baby will be two weeks old tomorrow and I would like to set a time to bring him in."
"Has he been in before?"
"No.  What time will be good tomorrow?"
"You didn't bring him in when he was four days old?"
"No, I had just had a baby and stayed home."
"How old did you say he was?"
"He'll be two weeks old tomorrow.  So when can I bring him in?"
"Didn't the doctor tell you to bring him in the first week?"
"He did! And I didn't!  Can I make an appointment for tomorrow or not!?"


Golly jeepers!  It's not like it is a crime to not bring your baby in on the exact day that doctor told you to.  Or is it...?  She seemed like it was, but after my abruptness she was much nicer.  Don't mess with a sleep-deprived, hormone ridden new mother!  So I took him in and they told me to sit in the newborn waiting room, I imagine to avoid the germs in the waiting room, and I get to share the room with a new mother and her friend, enveloped in cigarette fumes, and the friend hacking and sniffling (is there a better word for full on mucus inhalation than sniffling, because I need one) away.  I would've felt much more comfortable with the feverish toddlers in the other room thank you very much.  Then the doctor is alarmed that the baby hasn't returned to his birth weight (which is very normal, or has he really not been confronted with that before?) and forcefully suggests that I obviously am not making enough milk, no one really can for such a big baby, and should supplement with formula.  Inside I was yelling, "Are you kidding me?  Do you really think that I will ever make enough milk if I am ignorant enough to take your advice?  And are you going around telling all new mothers this?  And we wonder why people don't breastfeed longer.  Get me out of here!"  But he just saw my calm exterior as I smiled and nodded.  I am the picture of self-control.


So that is the scoop.  Things are going swimmingly.

spoiled rotten

One week ago today something momentous happened -- I was no longer pregnant and/or giving birth.  Hooray!  And it's a good thing because I was acquiring a very bad attitude about the whole thing.  Now from the distance of a few days, I have been reflecting on all of my many blessings and how much attention I have received from so many people.  I was very sad that my mom couldn't come this time, for very good reasons, but everything is going very well.  I didn't really expect much for my sixth child -- I feel positively doted upon!

1. My lovely friends threw a joint shower for my friend and I and it was so nice!  I was a little hesitant at first because believe it or not, I really don't enjoy being the center of attention.  Now, of course, if I'm relating a completely hilarious anecdote, I do not mind all eyes on me in the least :).  Because of our amazing garage sale prowess, my friend and I both did not really need the little baby essentials, so everyone was so kind and generously gave us both money to buy something bigger for the babies.  Thank you so much everyone!  I put my money toward these two things:

2. Dinners have been coming in all week -- and they've all been so healthy and delicious, with dessert to boot.  One kind person even brought me dinner a couple of weeks ago which was very nice for an over-pregnant person.  It makes me realize how much I desperately need a live-in cook!

3. My family has been so attentive.  They bring me meals in bed, ice water on demand, hold the baby (what a chore that is!), and are letting me relax and recover without having to worry about anything.  Today the two older kids are gone (Ella's been at camp all week, so she missed baby's first week, so sad) and Matthew took the three younger ones to Chicago.  All is quiet and serene... a magical gift.

4. My sweet friend made me the most gorgeous quilt -- I still can't believe that a. she went to all the effort for little old me and b. that she actually gave it to me and that I now own it.  I was trying to put the pictures that she took up here, but I guess you'll have to go to facebook to see it.  Or I may just have to take my own pictures, but then I'd have to get the camera, then find the thing-y to download it to the computer ...  It may not happen. Or maybe she'll just send me her actual files because you really have to see it!  I really think it may be the nicest gift I've ever been given (apologies in advance to those who have given me something amazing that I seem to have forgotten about at the moment).  Thank you dear friend!

5. And of course, I feel the very most spoiled (read blessed) by the incredibly soft, velvety miracle that I have been snuggling for the last seven days.  He is so sweet!  Thank you, thank you for him.  I feel so fortunate!

Arthur "Archie" Winfield Smith born August 5, 2011

9 pounds 11 ounces

lunch, laddie, la garde

I am so thankful that I get to have lunch with my husband almost every single day.  In the morning I am too cranky and in the evening he is too tired, so lunchtime seems to be the best time for civil conversations.  Our lunches are lovely and we get to spend them with the other person I am so thankful for ~~ my toddler.  Intermittently throughout the day I will yell, "Matthew!"  As he jumps, he will shout, "What?!"  With great earnestness I will say, "Look. at. that. BABY!"  And then we turn and watch enraptured as he pours water all over his food, babbles incoherently, throws large objects down the stairs, puts yogurt in his hair, pulls the cat's tail... all the while looking utterly adorable with an impish grin on his face.  Matthew will ask questions he would not normally ask, like: "Does he take lessons in cuteness?"  We are quite smitten.

He even sleeps charmingly with his little arms under his head.

Have no fear, I do not love him more than my other children.  I think all of my children are unparalleled examples of perfection, bien sur, but one year olds.... Ooh, la, la, la, la, la, la.  Très darling.

After my last post there were some questions, so to clear things up:  We are wintering in the south of France.  I just love saying that because when will I ever get to say that again?  Um, never!  We will be staying in La Garde, which is a small suburb of Toulon.  We are leaving in about six weeks.  Aaaagh!  I keep getting worried about our plans and using our time there to the absolute utmost, but then stop and realize that since we will probably go down in a fiery crash over the Atlantic, I should probably just take it easy and not get so worked up about it all.

Aah, Nursery

I have never been able to decorate a nursery for my baby. When I had babies 1 and 2 we lived at Wymount Terrace. Need I say more? Okay, I will. Cinderblock walls and absolutely no money! Number 3 was born in Japan and settled onto the floor with us. Later, thanks to generous friends she moved to a crib in the room with the other two. Babies 4 and 5 have only lived here in Illinois (technically #4 was born in Utah and we were homeless) in our 3 bedroom house. We now have 4 bedrooms, but still not too roomy for seven people and certainly no neglected space waiting to be filled with pastel baby yumminess. My friend posted pictures of her nursery and I just had to share because I cannot STAND how darling it is. The paint color is the exact color of my bedroom and I am loving it with the green accents.

my favorite Monday

I decided to do a favorites today, but we will see if I do it every week. Keep you on your toes. My favorite thing lately is this: Sometimes I wear dangly earrings which makes me a little nervous around the baby, but when he is leaning on my shoulder he will gently put my earring in his mouth to check it out. He doesn't pull hard and I love to hear him breathing in my ear. An odd favorite, but I know it won't last.

Of course, to balance the favorite with the not so favorite, I just got back from picking Ella up at the high school. She was a little late coming out so I had the opportunity to observe some of the students as they left the school. The boys waddled by spitting as their pants slid way past what I consider appropriate and girls were throwing their gum down on the sidewalk. What are they all thinking? Sometimes I feel like I am still fourteen, but when I am wondering what their mothers would think if they saw them, I realize that I have become an old fuddy-duddy

Oh my aching back!

This is interesting for baby-wearing mommas -- mostly for Lisa.

The Secret Life of Me

I have been looking for a white noise machine and there are a lot of options out there. I find myself in need of such a contraption because despite all of my best efforts to get the baby used to sleeping through noise and disruptions, he has gotten used to napping while the children are all gone during the week and then has a lot of trouble getting adequate rest on the weekend. I would love to be the kind of mother who would let things like this slide off her back, but the problem is that while I am trying to get the baby to sleep I make plans. I fantasize about all of the things that I am going to accomplish once the baby is down -- I will sweep the floors, I will fold laundry that will stay folded for more than a moment, I will clear the sink of dirty dishes, I will comb my hair, I may even brush my teeth! Oh, the possibilities! I quiver with excitement, yet sit patiently and enjoy the quiet nursing time. Okay, finally dozing off, get up carefully, lay baby down gently, cover with blanket, make it nice and cozy, tiptoe soundlessly across the room, close the door with a soft click. Whew! Made it out, scurry down the stairs, start on my list and -- oh, no! One of the children was acting like a child -- the horror! He is awake. He is standing in the crib wailing. All of my well-laid plans are dashed. And I am not happy. And I cannot have an entire Christmas break like this. I have similar problems in other areas of my life -- a fantasy life, as it were. I tried to learn how to knit a couple of years ago so that I could have busy hands during waiting times. My good friend graciously taught me a basic stitch and I was off. Three rows into it and I am Walter Mitty, envisioning all of the gorgeous blankets and scarves that I create for all of my friends and family. "Oh Mary," they gush, "these are so beautiful, warm, and soft! You shouldn't have!" Well, I didn't. The long, warped, mess that I created could hardly be considered a gift for anyone. Then I thought I would try my hand at writing songs. As I drove around town I would think of little melodies and words, but of course before anything worthwhile came out of my brain, I had already decided what I would wear for my album cover! I took a drawing class and I could just see my studio with canvases lined up along the wall, me covered with paint and filled with enthusiasm as I bring my latest masterpiece to life and I am happy! Finding a new outfit -- ta, pukkuta, pukkuta -- won't that look lovely and won't I be happy? Shopping for dinner -- I could make a gourmet feast and won't I be happy. Every time I go jogging -- ta, pukkuta, pukkuta -- thirty pounds lighter and won't I be happy! Sending a birth announcement, writing a Christmas letter, starting a blog... I could go on and on -- oops, too late, already did. So should I get the noise machine that is also a clock? This is not merely for my benefit. He is only eight months old and needs sleep for pity's sake!

Ten Things I've Learned From My Babies for 10/10

1. Smile -- when you smile at people they will usually smile back and you've brightened their day.
2. Get enough sleep -- or you will be peevish
3. Try new things -- you'll never know if you can do it if you don't try
4. Don't give up -- everything takes a little bit of practice
5. Be delighted by simple things -- a chattering squirrel; the movement of a cat's tail
6. When someone pats your back, reciprocate and pat theirs
7. Love yourself -- look in the mirror and smile; be amazed at what your hands can do!
8. Sparkly things are fab
9. Tolerate peculiarity -- a nonjudgemental blank stare will usually suffice (this is generally reserved for older siblings and when mommy is dancing)
10. Listen to your body -- eat when you're hungry, stop when you're full, sleep when you're tired...

Danger

The dangers of not having a cupboard door! I found a very busy boy after turning around for one second! And no those are not virtual smudges on your computer screen, just real ones in my kitchen. It's shibui, ne?  The last eggplants from our garden -- we made the yummy eggplant casserole (recipe link on sidebar) and everyone loved it!

the boysss

::Phin with his big bro

::in his bouncy seat

Perfection -- aaah

Okay, it is official:  I have the perfect baby.  Last night he slept from 10:00 to 5:00!  It was amazing.  Of course, we were at a park and then the swimming pool for the entire day which may have just wiped him out.  I will be realistic and not hasten to assume that he will do the same thing again tonight.   The other remarkable thing is that lately I have just been putting him down while he is awake and he'll wiggle around quietly and then just go • to • sleep.  It is astounding!  Right now he is snoozing away in the lovely sling that I made.  I will have to put a picture up -- I used upholstery fabric and it is stylin'.

Lest one become envious, let me assure that not all is perfect at our house.  I am sitting in a room with four computers in various states of usefulness.  Matthew's is from work and is the nicest.  Next there is the used Mac that we bought a few months ago on Ebay.  We got a great deal, but last week (or the week before, it is blurry) I was showing my family Jenn's funny post with the can of chinese food and while the laptop was open "someone" (no names) tripped on the cord and the computer swan dived off of the counter and landed face first on the tile floor.  Only, it doesn't have a face and doesn't bend backward like that and the monitor became disconnected from the keyboard.  Matthew connected his computer and found that the hard drive (I know I sound technical, but I really have no idea...) was still working so he brought an enormous monitor home and hooked it up to the laptop keyboard.  So I have to look to the left while I type to the right.  Talennnnt!  It looks ridiculous, but works.  Now on this "new to us" computer we could never get the e-mail to work right so we still used the old laptop.  We wanted a new laptop because the old one actually can bend backward and does at random.  So while just working away on something it would suddenly snap backward and splat the table.  Eventually the screen cracked and little by little one could see less and less of the screen.  I still need that e-mail program to do the orders for Illegal Art so I was still using it until the adaptor connector thing-y (still technical) stopped working so we had to hold it up and to the right to get the battery to work while I did orders.  Matthew then hooked up his parents old laptop so we could see the screen better and know what we were looking at.  Thus four computers and a very long and boring paragraph that I suspect no one will bother reading.  I would skip it and I ought to add a disclaimer at the beginning of it.

I bought a new table off of Craig's list last week so our old kitchen table is also in the dining room (along with the four computers, an actual dining table, a desk, two hutches, some random chairs, the guinea pig cage, and four people at the moment - oh, the vacuum is in here, too).  I really like the shape of the new table, but it needs painting, or I need new chairs...  At any rate, it doesn't match anything.

There is a flood warning right now.  And the thunder and lightning is quite alarming!  I wonder if we should disconnect everything, but I just had to google surge protectors, so I don't think we are ready to sever our ties to the outside world just yet.

I have some photos to post.  Ciao  

brotherly love

::2 weeks old

Dreams, diapers, denial...

I have been having the strangest dreams lately, probably because I am half awake all night long. Last night I dreamt that someone called me to come in to update my credit report, drivers license, and health insurance which were all on the same card. I was looking at my credit report and it said things like: March 1986 bought sunglasses; November 1996 left car door open at the mall; May 1998 bought black shoes to wear with a navy dress -- a crime of fashion! The credit report also went back to all our old houses and it turned out that our first house was a block away from a beach and we had never known it.

My baby is getting so big! Everywhere we go people are surprised at how big he is. It is tragic enough without everyone having to comment on it! Yesterday he was wearing his khakis, a polo shirt, and an argyle vest. Ibby said, "He looks like he is going to give bread away." Huh? Oh, he looks like a tiny deacon. So cute. He is especially adorable with his big, fat bottom. He has been wearing cloth diapers. Last night was the first time he wore one at night and he made it twelve hours with the same diaper on. Not that he slept that long, that was just how long it took his lazy mother to get around to it. Anyway, it is the most amazing diaper called bumgenius. I only have one of them because it is expensive. There is a whole subculture to cloth diapers and it can lead to obsession and addiction.  I figure I can put aside the $18 a week I would spend on disposables (scratchy, paper, chemical ridden...) to buy a lovely soft reusable one.  But then there are the accessories... oh my!

I would love to write more and oftener, but there are small people in my life who are saboteurs to my life as a writer. I suppose it cannot be helped, but it is frustrating.

Hello Again

I was getting too depressed to write for a while. There was nothing to say or do or think beyond still being pregnant. Now we are doing much better. The baby is so sweet! His skin is impossibly soft and he has the sweetest rosebud lips. The smell of Tucks takes me back to when my other babies were born and I now realize it reminds me of falling in love. The recovery has been going smoothly, mostly because my mom is here to help. She has been doing everything and it has been wonderful to have her here. I don't remember being so tired and sore in the past, but then the first week of all of my children's lives is a blur. I hope that someday we can go back and watch the video of them as babies. It goes much too quickly!

Matthew has left for Iowa for a music festival. All of these things sound great when they are in the distant future, but then when the day arrives you realize how insane it was to plan an event for so soon after the birth of a baby. He has been practicing today, but I don't think he really feels ready. The biggest problem from our point of view here at home is that we only have one car, it is a very little car, and Charles and Ella both have places to be at the same time, I still don't know how we are going to work it, but I have very nice friends whose boys are on Charlie's team so I think it will involve them somehow.

debut

I have been meaning to start a journal for some time now. I buy pretty notebooks and nice pens, yet nothing seems to be enough to prod me along. I have decided to change my tactic and plunk some words down online. We will see how this goes...

Last week we saw a funny movie called the T.V. set. There was a character in it that was 8 months pregnant and had the best line about "feeling this whole pregnant thing..." I cannot remember it exactly, because I happen to be 8 months pregnant myself, so such a thing would obviously be impossible, but it got me to thinking about the human condition -- and thus the title of my new blog. At first I was startled by how close her comment came to how I feel all the time and I thought, 'And I thought it was just me.' It made my strange thought validated somehow. But then later, I began to think that it was somehow minimizing my experience, turning it into a cliche. So there is nothing unique or unpredictable about my behavior -- simply the human condition. Kind of depressing in a way, unless you want to be like everyone else. I just finished reading the "Twilight" series. The same thing kept happening as I read those books. I would think, 'Wow, I have felt just that way before!' and then think, 'oh, it wasn't as special or unusual as I thought.'

Rebecca had her baby on Sunday. Always a relief that another baby made it safely into the world! She had been so worried and everything went really well. I cannot help but feel anxious, but I suppose that shows that I am not quite ready, I have to be at the point of absolute surrender, completely apathetic to whatever and however it happens -- just get the baby out! We are very excited. We could not have dreamed up the other kids, so it will be a delight to see the baby's face for the first time and get to know the new personality in our house.