Namaste

As I finish up my certification for the Restorative Partner Yoga from Bodhi Yoga, the world seems to be in complete disarray!  Every week there seems to be a new tragedy a new crisis and it feels so heavy.  I always hope that through the breaking, there will be space for the positive.  With the Pandemic I hope for new ways of running the world, new power structures, new ways of taking care of people, new eyes to see that the old way wasn't really working.  With the current protests against police brutality it is the same hope -- new power structures, new ways of taking care of our neighbors, new ways to see that there was so so so much unfairness and violence and it was not ever working for everyone in this country -- basically built for upper middle class white men.  Which, I guess, makes sense, since those are the people who founded our country, but!  They also claimed to be thinkers and to be Christian, so one would hope that the idea of treating other people who weren't exactly like them with dignity and respect was part of that original equation.  Every great religion and philosophy espouses the idea that one should treat others the way that one would like to be treated!  It is so basic, it is capital T TRUTH.  But basic isn't always simple, apparently.  I won't ever understand what it is like to be a black person in this country, but I will do my best to educate myself and my children, and stand in solidarity with my brothers and sisters.

I hope that by studying the partner yoga and all of the lovely side paths that go along with it, that I can add to the peace, love, and understanding on this beautiful Earth.  

Namaste 

Yoga in Place

My goal was to finish my Restorative Partner Yoga Certification from Bodhi Yoga by the end of March (after the "end of the year," "end of the Summer," "end of last March..." goals were not met, eek!) so that I could bring the whole packet with me to Utah when we went for Spring Break.  Well!  All of our plans have now been dashed as we're being told that the best way to "flatten the curve" of covid-19 is to stay home.  We are so sad that we won't be seeing our sweet little families there -- Ella really wanted us to see her pregnant tummy!  And Clara is crawling and all sorts of other fun things.  But!  I would hate to be the cause of the virus spreading all across the United States, or give it to my parents!  So we are staying home for now.  I have one session left to do and one more blog post after this one!  So things are definitely getting close!  Hopefully I can use this extra time well to wrap it all up!

We are doing yoga every day at noon before lunch -- and so far everyone has been pretty cooperative about it!  Marvels and wonders!

It's Not About You

My sister, Ellen, is the one I credit with introducing me to yoga.  She sent me a Kundalini Yoga dvd and from there I bought some more and borrowed different videos from the library.  I loved how yoga made me feel and went through cycles of regular and not so regular practice.  It wasn't until I had been doing it for several years that I felt brave enough to attend a live class.  I didn't want to embarrass myself and I was so un-athletic that I didn't even have any active wear that didn't also include a hole in the backside.  But, when I was pregnant with my youngest we had a membership to a local health club and the membership included unlimited class attendance -- let's be honest, the cost of a yoga class was also holding me back a bit.  So I started attending the most lovely class ever and I tried to go twice a week.  I noticed that my body felt so much better through that long, uncomfortable, too old pregnancy and my mood definitely improved.  This most lovely class was taught by the one and only Tonya (angels singing, aaaaaah) and I must admit that she spoiled me to other teachers.  If she had to get a sub, or when she eventually left that location, I just couldn't enjoy another class quite as much.  All of this is to say that I get it, I get that she is wonderful... 

So, now to last Saturday.  Tonya and I now teach at the same yoga studio.  She was so encouraging to me as I started my yoga certification journey at Bodhi Yoga. I was intimidated by her amazing-ness and she would always say, "I have been teaching for a very very long time, AND you're not me, you're YOU!"  Which is true, right?  And she also pushed me to just get out there and get my teaching hours.  Literally made me do it.  Yes, I love her.  She hardly ever asks for subs and when she does, I had heard that some of her students will get up and walk out when they see another teacher show up!  Can you believe that?  It is insane!  So last Friday when she texted me personally -- not in the main teacher group thread -- to ask if I could sub for her the next morning so that she could attend a retreat in Wisconsin I said, "Sure thing!" (haha) because, even though those stories of students leaving intimidated me, I knew it would mean a lot to her.  I planned my class and tried to push down my nervousness, knowing people were getting up extra early on a Saturday morning for her -- for her!  And I totally understand, she is a great teacher!  

I get out of my car and there is a man exiting his car, fetching his mat out of the back... So he's woken up before 7:30, driven all the way there, has gotten up the gumption to get out of his car and then he sees me unlocking the door and suddenly stops.

"Are you teaching today?" he asks suspiciously.  

"Yes." 

"Well, I want Tonya," he whines.

"She went to a retreat."

"She didn't say anything about it on Wednesday.  I want Tonya.  I'm going to go," he pouts.

I reply, "You know, it is actually hard for Tonya to find a sub because of this kind of (gesturing vaguely yet pointedly in his direction).  It is nice for her to be able to go do other things sometimes."

"I just want Tonya." Childishly returns mat to back of car, gets into car and leaves.  

I also notice a woman sitting in her car, recognize her as someone who attends the class because she is also my friend's daughter's voice teacher.  Aha!  I never forget a face!  In a couple of minutes she also leaves.  Even though I was trying to steel myself for this eventuality, it still leaves a pit in my stomach and I start nervous sweating.  Who knows how many other people in the parking lot screeched out of there?  Probably hordes of them!  I quickly tell the other three students standing there as well as the next person coming in, that I'm subbing for Tonya  -- spitting it out to get it over with in case they decide to pack up their mats and hightail it out of there, but they all stayed, bless their sweet little hearts.  The whole thing left me shaking.

I was hoping that writing it all out would help me flesh out some sort of moral or life lesson, but it hasn't -- it is mostly an amusing anecdote!  But I guess what I could learn is to not be a jerk? I'm sure those people are perfectly nice and feel entitled to have a choice in how to spend their money and time, but do they realize how rude they're being?  How bad they made me feel?  How hard they're making it for their beloved teacher to take a little break sometimes?  It is really quite selfish.  So, next time you decide to set aside a little me time and do something for yourself -- like attend a yoga class -- remember that it is not only about you.  Very few things in life are.

Isabela Phoebe

I'm still, STILL, working on finishing up the hours I need for my Restorative Partner Yoga certification from Bodhi Yoga, but I am definitely getting there!  I think I only need three more!  Oh my goodness.  I am so so good at procrastinating!  It is indeed my greatest talent.

In my desperation I have turned to my family to be my guinea pigs.  I worked on Ibby for the first time in December and then she let me do it again the other night and there was something so sweet about it!  As I worked the sen lines on her legs and pressed the marma points on her arms I was reminded of when she was a baby and I'd rub her little body while she nursed.  I enjoyed her infancy so much!  We had just moved to this house and I finally felt settled after moving around for many many years.  We finally had enough room to stretch out and run around so we didn't feel so much like we were right on top of each other.  I also was taking my happy vitamins -- really it is fish oil -- but I was so so worried about experiencing postpartum depression again.  I had had it quite badly with both Charles and Lucinda, so I was dreading that baby time.  I had read somewhere that fish oil would help so I began to take it quite faithfully and lo and behold!  The dreaded depression and panic attacks never arrived!  It made such a difference!  And she was such a chill baby!  But I always wonder if it is a chicken and egg situation.  Was she chill because I was more calm?  Or was I more calm because she was chill?  She still is pretty mellow!  It is her personality for sure.  And the other two, are, shall we say, not, haha!

Anyway, it was really nice for me to be able to go back to that time, as it were.  Through the sense of touch I was able to recall that time so vividly and it was beautiful.  She is such a sweetie and I am trying to cherish these last couple of years with her home (sob, sob, sob).

Robin Egg Blue

When I was doing my Restorative Partner Yoga training at Bodhi Yoga I really enjoyed the immersive aspect of the experience.  (I did a 10 day intensive course, and Syl Carson, the owner, also offers a course that meets on weekends over a few months).  I probably could have stolen away and gone back to my mom's house or had lunch with family, but I loved staying really close to the studio and not getting into my car for the whole day.  On the last day of the training, I walked across the street to my favorite little soup place.  It felt cold and loud inside the restaurant -- I can never really adjust to air conditioning, brrr!  So I took my food outside to have some quiet time (near the road, haha) and feel the sun burrow into my bones.  As I sat down, a small blue object caught my eye.  I bent down to see what it was and found the remains of a robin's egg!  I looked around and could not imagine where it possibly could have come from!  It was just lying in the rocky ground cover all by itself.  Don't they usually fall from a tree?  But there weren't any trees nearby.  So, I concluded that it must obviously be a message from the universe!  Of course.  I took the egg back to the studio and presented it to Syl as a gift, adding it to the objects on the main altar.  Later I looked up what the meaning could be and found this:

"Robin will incite new growth in all areas of your life, areas that have become stagnant and out-dated. You must believe in yourself as you move forward for if you do, barriers will disappear, and confrontations will be for show only. Robin will show you how to do this with joy in your hearts. Their song is a happy one, reminding you to let go of your personal drama and learn to laugh with life.
The robins eggs are powder blue. This colour is associated with the throat chakra in man and is also linked to heavenly inspiration. As the throat chakra’s main function is use as an expression of All That Is and the egg is symbolic of new life, you will be taught how to express yourselves positively in all you do. You will be lead to new beginnings without fear by restoring trust in yourself and your soul. Meditate on Robin and the right path will be shown to you."

I thought that was very applicable as I was ready to start out on this new path -- growing, the need to believe in myself, learning to laugh with life, and finding my voice in this new modality.  I still don't see myself as a healer, but as I have gone through this experience of getting my practice hours in, I have loved hearing how good it makes people feel, how restorative the sessions are, and yes, how incredibly healing this Partner Yoga can be.  Plus, it's my favorite color!  So, that is also a little kiss from heaven telling me I'm on the right track.  

Pitta Challenge

According to yoga philosophy, universal life force manifests as three different energies, or doshas, known as vata, pitta, and kapha. We're all made up of a unique combination of these three forces. Though everyone has some of each, most people tend to have an abundance of one or two of the doshas.  I was very confused when I first looked at the lists describing each one.  I feel like I have a vata brain, but definitely not a vata body.  I decided to try taking a test and ended up taking seven different ones -- all with pretty much the same result:  I am pitta/vata.  This explains a lot about my body type, my thought processes, and my abilities.

I took quite a bit of time off of working on my Restorative Partner Yoga certification from Bodhi Yoga so it has been difficult to get back into it.  Things are so much better when they're fresh, right?  But, onward and upward.  Yesterday I was able to do a session with my lovely sister, Ellen.  She is the one who first introduced me to yoga, sharing her love of Kundalini through videos, articles, and practicing together when we happen to be in the same state!  So, working with her was dreamy since I didn't have to worry too much about her flexibility and could instead try to remember what all of the pictures were showing.  She gave me some really good feedback -- to slow down, especially on range of motion movements; to use less pressure; and that she really liked the points on the pineal, pituitary and heart glands.  Mostly addressing my Pitta, haha!  I'm sure these remarks will help me as I move forward.

Butterfly=Metamorphosis

It is said that the butterfly is one the most symbolic animals regarding the power of personal transformation and I feel like I really have grown and changed in the last week or so as we have dived deep into the practice here at Bodhi Yoga.  Being able to dedicate so much time to it is a wonderful gift and I was so grateful to catch a glimpse of this beauty, as it fluttered around the zinnias, to remind me of my blessings and also to lead me forward instead of back.  I have loved attending the yoga classes in the mornings and then spending the entire rest of the days in study and practice.  

We have learned about the Sen lines -- another completely new concept for me!  According to Yogic philosophies, there are 72,000 threads that run through our bodies which are called Nadis. They are there to be a pathway for the energy that is required to make up life! Working with these channels is on a much more energetic level than working with the marmas was and it is so interesting to learn how to "sense" where they are.  At first it seemed so difficult, but soon, with a pause, the intuitive feeling was there.  As people become more aware of the energy fields that we have (that we are!), we can transform into the beings of light that we have been all along!

Marma Mia

Marmas.  We all have them, but do we know what they are?  I had never heard of them before I started the Bodhi Yoga teacher training and we only talked about them for a minute then, but now my eyes have been opened!  Most people have heard of acupressure points, so that is a good jumping off point in explaining what they are.  In Ayurvedic philosophy, it is said that the marmas are where the spirit and body lace together.  Each marma holds the potential for balancing the body and serves as a bridge to the mind and the soul.  Marmas are located at places where there are physical intersections -- veins, arteries, tendons, bones, joints, etc. and there are 107 of them in the body!  

We have been learning techniques for "activating" the marmas and it is amazing how good it feels to have them pressed and massaged.  We had a great time today practicing on each other!  And I'm so glad that now I know about my marmas!  I am going to use this new knowledge in my yoga classes...

Ladybug Luck

In the Bodhi Yoga training we've been talking about the art of balance -- Prakruti is a state of balance, with Vikruti as its opposite.  Each person can find their own space where their balance resides and then develop lifestyle wisdom to make that happen.  I love the Ayurvedic philosophy at looking at the whole person and the whole picture -- food, sleep, exercise, seasons, weather, relationships, work -- all of it contributes to whatever may be happening in someone's life.  In my experience with doctors here in the U.S., they concentrate on their one specialty and tend to ignore the fact that there could be other factors.  And sometimes a new problem could be created by a solution to the first problem.  Years ago I was having trouble with my tail bone.  I went to a traditional doctor who told me to take tylenol!  I couldn't even sit and it was noticeable progressing year by year!  So taking pain medication not only wouldn't solve my problem, merely mask it, it also would lead to other issues -- digestive, immunity, etc.  I had never been to a chiropractor, but I decided to take a chance and I am so glad that I did!  I had to pay out of pocket, but being completely healed and returning to a state of prakruti was so worth it.

We met at Syl's house so that we could walk the labyrinth.  Oh, how I love that place!  And as I was making my way around, I was visited by a lovely little ladybug sitting atop a cairn.  Ladybugs are a symbol of luck and I do indeed feel so lucky to be able to be here and take this time to learn and grow.  It also told me to enjoy life and live to my fullest!  The best way to do that is find my balance.  Feeling good is joyful!

Day Two -- Balance and Siddhartha

It is the second day of the training at Bodhi Yoga and I am enjoying it so much!  We have been spending time talking about the Gunas and the Doshas which is really helpful!  I hadn't ever heard of either of those things until I took the first teacher yoga training with Syl last summer.  Since then I have spent more time researching them -- mostly so I can understand myself more, but also I can see so much value in being able to identify the best methods for working with different types of people.  I have also looked into more Ayurveda lifestyle changes that I can implement in my life -- eating food with more prana, or life force in it, following a schedule that is more in tune with what is happening around me, going to bed closer to the sunset and waking up with the sunrise.  It is all about rhythm and tuning in.  As we work with the partner aspect of yoga, it is so helpful to look at it in terms of bringing everything into balance -- mind, body, and spirit.

During our lunch break I was able to go sit by myself, in the sun, next to the flowing Provo River,  feeling like Siddhartha receiving messages from my Mother, nature, to enjoy, to inhale, these precious days of being able to concentrate fully on this beautiful practice.

RPY Day One and the Snail

I started the training at Bodhi Yoga this morning and I already know it is going to be something special.  There are only three of us!  So it feels intimate and cozy, which I love.  I kind of regret that my teacher training was such a large group -- although that was fun, too, of course!  But this makes up for any residual judgement -- a completely different experience!  

We talked about the yogic origins of partner yoga and how it differs from more traditional Western massage.  The biggest difference being that it is a more energy healing and spiritually based practice, versus solely being about the body.  We also talked about the benefits of partner yoga, obviously for the receiver -- such as relaxation, releasing emotional blocks, stimulating circulation, improving digestion, and deepening spiritual insight.   But also the giver experiences benefits as well -- a moving meditative state, strengthened yoga practice, and counter pressure, to name a few.  

Having never experienced a restorative partner yoga training, I am embarrassed to admit that I was not even fully aware of what it was when I signed up!  So today was very eye opening for me.

I went outside during a break and noticed a snail winding a glistening trail around my feet.

I decided its message was telling me to slow down.  When I got home I looked up the symbolism and this is what I found:

The snail symbolism is letting you know that you have to use your time wisely. However, you also have to realize that you do have time for everything. Thus, you should divide your priorities and set up a block of time each day so that there is steady progress in all of your projects.  The whole process is a simple exercise in time management. In other words, snail symbolism reminds you to stay in the present so that everything gets done.

Oh!  Perfect!  I will take this into my training -- to use my time wisely, to know that there is plenty of time, and to make steady progress in the present moment!

Another Yoga Training

I am headed out to Utah again to start another 200 hour yoga training!  It will be at Bodhi Yoga in Provo again, and I'm so excited!  It is called Restorative Partner Yoga -- henceforth to be referred to as RPY and is in depth hands on adjusting, 52 partner yoga poses, and learning about Ayurvedic Marma point and 10 sens energy line alignment.  It is only available to students who have already completed her 200 hour yoga teacher certification, so obviously very exclusive 😁

I made Syl this Chakra mandala -- based on a pattern from Attic 24 

Not the best picture, haha!  But hopefully she'll like it!

I have several hours to spend in the Chicago airport -- which I don't mind.  I always enjoy people watching!  I love how this woman takes off her shoes to put her feet up on the chair -- treating everything with respect, but also not able to shake her upbringing even when she's in a probably not very clean place.  I mean, really, how many people have sat in that chair???  It boggles the mind.

Yoga Friends

We're finally getting into the swing of things in our kids yoga class!  I think at first they didn't know what was expected of them.  I always joke that secular homeschoolers are the worst -- they haven't learned how to sit quietly at church or school, haha!  I am just kidding, I love them, of course, but sometimes our math and yoga classes get a little rowdy!  Anywho, back to saying that it isn't going so badly!  We start by getting settled and then go over some of the poses we've learned in past weeks, then we learn some new poses.  I'm still using the ideas from the Bodhi Yoga manual, and the theme for this week was friends.  We talked about ways to be kind and acted out some scenarios.  We read a book about friends and then we did some partner yoga poses, because you can't do those alone!

Kids Yoga II

Once wasn't enough punishment so we came back for more!  I shortened the class this time, so that made it a lot better.  Using the ideas from the Bodhi Yoga manual, we started with the kids doing a tug of war with scarves.  It started out okay, but very quickly got out of hand!  These kids just aren't sitting there docilely like the pretend children in the example lesson!  I pretty much had a non stop running reminder that there is no talking in yoga and we have to stay on our mats... It might sink in eventually?  

My friend snapped a picture of a calm moment.  Is a picture worth a thousand words?  Or just a lie in image form?

Kids Yoga

This morning I started a kids yoga series held over at the Crossroads Church. They're trying to create a neighborhood community center, so a pay what you can/want yoga class seemed like a good fit -- and I can get my hours!  I'm also going to do an adult yoga class there in the evenings.  

In the Bodhi Yoga manual, Syl had put together a whole four month yoga series for kids and it is so cute!  I roughly followed the outline this morning, but with kids you never know what is going to happen!  I am used to going slower, but soon realized that they lose interest in things so quickly, so we would quickly jump to the next thing.  I also planned on using a whole hour, but that is simply too long to keep their attention!  I scheduled it for daytime and posted it on the homeschool site, so we had quite a large age range, which might have made it more difficult, too.  All in all, I feel like I learned a lot, but I'm not so sure about the kids, haha!

Love That Body

I was so happy to be asked to lead the young ladies from church in yoga again.  It's the new year so I'm sure that the leaders were asking from a goal or fitness perspective, but I wanted the class to be all about being so grateful for our fabulous earth vessels, for all of the things they can do -- and not what they can't do or what they don't look like, ugh.  We talked about self-acceptance and self-love, trying to stay out of our heads and present in our bodies throughout the practice.  In my training at Bodhi Yoga, Syl told us that we would be better teachers if stayed open and and non -critical of ourselves, it would allow us to recognize our own inner divinity.  Well, of course, that is true with everything!  And I hope that I was able to communicate a little of that to the girls.  It was especially fun having my own two sweeties there with me!

Into the Fire

Tonya -- my most esteemed yoga guru -- has asked me a few times if I would be willing to teach yoga for the Tuesday evening Grove Street neighborhood and I just don't feel ready  at all!  I have only done a few classes with my friends -- and even that was scary!  So I have repeatedly declined her kind invitation... But then today she texted me while we were at park day and said that they desperately needed a teacher for that night!  Oh, the horror!  I wanted to say no so badly, but I could tell that the Universe was gently, or not so gently, nudging me and giving me a chance to get my teaching hours toward my Bodhi Yoga certification.  It really is a great opportunity!  So I agreed and took the boys home a little early so that I could practice a bit and write some ideas down.  Oh my goodness!  My stomach hurt so much!  But I didn't die!  Tonya checked in with me later and assured me that they haven't lost a teacher yet!

Church Yoga

I was asked to teach the church girls some yoga and it turned out really well!  Of course, I was really nervous, so what do I do when I get nervous?  I buy accessories!  I bought a new speaker so that I could have some nice music for the occasion and it really did help.  I found an older model Bose speaker for a good price and I love it!  Music helps to stayed focused during the quiet times and sets a nice peaceful tone for the class. We started out with getting settled in our breath then some seated poses, standing, and a quick Bodhi flow.  I had a lot of things planned that we didn't get to -- which is much better than running out of things to do, right?

It is so nice of people to help me get my hours!

A First Time for Everything

I finished my yoga training at Bodhi Yoga in June, but I had a bit of a traumatic experience trying to lead a certain someone in yoga and it completely messed me up!  I came home from the training and have hardly done any yoga at all -- no personal practice, no Maya Fiennes on Amazon, no crazy little dvds, and I certainly haven't had the gumption to try teaching a class!  My sweet friend, Andrea, insisted that I needed to start getting my teaching hours in toward my certification so she lovingly compelled me to go to her house this morning.  I was very nervous, but I put a little flow together and was fine.  Fine!  She had never done yoga before (!) so it was easy to show her a few simple things and the hour passed peacefully and quickly.  I even did some hands on adjustments!  Which was a little scary, but we all survived!  

Session Five

The last session of our yoga training session was about choosing our path.  We talked about teaching different kinds of classes -- a children's class, prenatal yoga, kundalini, etc.  Syl has put in so much work with different class outlines and ideas!  I'm sure that it will be really helpful in the future.  She has also mentioned so many other things that I get so excited about!  Sometimes I just want to download information directly into my brain, haha!  But I know that life is about the journey, about learning and growing bit by bit, about enjoying each moment and relishing new discoveries.  Some of the other things include energy work, partner yoga, chakra therapy, and astrology!  I know she has spent years learning all of the things and I just want to know them all right now!  There is a whole wide world out there that I know nothing about!