Tuesday, March 31, 2020

Tiny Poem Tuesday: Crow

Tiny Poem Tuesday (it's Tuesday, right?)corona virus edition::::
Following the crow'sdistant flight, yellowtreasure dangling
from its ebonybeak, I'm gratefulfor the still bare
branches, gratefulfor the claritythat scarce sparsity
can bring, gratefulfor the chance to see, the chance
that this pause, this wide calm,has bestowed.


Saturday, March 28, 2020

Happy Birthday to Phin!

Happy 12th birthday to our Phin-bin! He's funny and clever and curious and so so kind-hearted. Charles was 12 when he was born -- so happy to finally have a brother! All three of us are year of the Rat in the Chinese zodiac so we're double each other this year!

Thursday, March 26, 2020

Yoga in Place

My goal was to finish my Restorative Partner Yoga Certification from Bodhi Yoga by the end of March (after the "end of the year," "end of the Summer," "end of last March..." goals were not met, eek!) so that I could bring the whole packet with me to Utah when we went for Spring Break.  Well!  All of our plans have now been dashed as we're being told that the best way to "flatten the curve" of covid-19 is to stay home.  We are so sad that we won't be seeing our sweet little families there -- Ella really wanted us to see her pregnant tummy!  And Clara is crawling and all sorts of other fun things.  But!  I would hate to be the cause of the virus spreading all across the United States, or give it to my parents!  So we are staying home for now.  I have one session left to do and one more blog post after this one!  So things are definitely getting close!  Hopefully I can use this extra time well to wrap it all up!

We are doing yoga every day at noon before lunch -- and so far everyone has been pretty cooperative about it!  Marvels and wonders!


Wednesday, March 11, 2020

It's Not About You

My sister, Ellen, is the one I credit with introducing me to yoga.  She sent me a Kundalini Yoga dvd and from there I bought some more and borrowed different videos from the library.  I loved how yoga made me feel and went through cycles of regular and not so regular practice.  It wasn't until I had been doing it for several years that I felt brave enough to attend a live class.  I didn't want to embarrass myself and I was so un-athletic that I didn't even have any active wear that didn't also include a hole in the backside.  But, when I was pregnant with my youngest we had a membership to a local health club and the membership included unlimited class attendance -- let's be honest, the cost of a yoga class was also holding me back a bit.  So I started attending the most lovely class ever and I tried to go twice a week.  I noticed that my body felt so much better through that long, uncomfortable, too old pregnancy and my mood definitely improved.  This most lovely class was taught by the one and only Tonya (angels singing, aaaaaah) and I must admit that she spoiled me to other teachers.  If she had to get a sub, or when she eventually left that location, I just couldn't enjoy another class quite as much.  All of this is to say that I get it, I get that she is wonderful... 

So, now to last Saturday.  Tonya and I now teach at the same yoga studio.  She was so encouraging to me as I started my yoga certification journey at Bodhi Yoga. I was intimidated by her amazing-ness and she would always say, "I have been teaching for a very very long time, AND you're not me, you're YOU!"  Which is true, right?  And she also pushed me to just get out there and get my teaching hours.  Literally made me do it.  Yes, I love her.  She hardly ever asks for subs and when she does, I had heard that some of her students will get up and walk out when they see another teacher show up!  Can you believe that?  It is insane!  So last Friday when she texted me personally -- not in the main teacher group thread -- to ask if I could sub for her the next morning so that she could attend a retreat in Wisconsin I said, "Sure thing!" (haha) because, even though those stories of students leaving intimidated me, I knew it would mean a lot to her.  I planned my class and tried to push down my nervousness, knowing people were getting up extra early on a Saturday morning for her -- for her!  And I totally understand, she is a great teacher!  

I get out of my car and there is a man exiting his car, fetching his mat out of the back... So he's woken up before 7:30, driven all the way there, has gotten up the gumption to get out of his car and then he sees me unlocking the door and suddenly stops.

"Are you teaching today?" he asks suspiciously.  

"Yes." 

"Well, I want Tonya," he whines.

"She went to a retreat."

"She didn't say anything about it on Wednesday.  I want Tonya.  I'm going to go," he pouts.

I reply, "You know, it is actually hard for Tonya to find a sub because of this kind of (gesturing vaguely yet pointedly in his direction).  It is nice for her to be able to go do other things sometimes."

"I just want Tonya." Childishly returns mat to back of car, gets into car and leaves.  

I also notice a woman sitting in her car, recognize her as someone who attends the class because she is also my friend's daughter's voice teacher.  Aha!  I never forget a face!  In a couple of minutes she also leaves.  Even though I was trying to steel myself for this eventuality, it still leaves a pit in my stomach and I start nervous sweating.  Who knows how many other people in the parking lot screeched out of there?  Probably hordes of them!  I quickly tell the other three students standing there as well as the next person coming in, that I'm subbing for Tonya  -- spitting it out to get it over with in case they decide to pack up their mats and hightail it out of there, but they all stayed, bless their sweet little hearts.  The whole thing left me shaking.

I was hoping that writing it all out would help me flesh out some sort of moral or life lesson, but it hasn't -- it is mostly an amusing anecdote!  But I guess what I could learn is to not be a jerk? I'm sure those people are perfectly nice and feel entitled to have a choice in how to spend their money and time, but do they realize how rude they're being?  How bad they made me feel?  How hard they're making it for their beloved teacher to take a little break sometimes?  It is really quite selfish.  So, next time you decide to set aside a little me time and do something for yourself -- like attend a yoga class -- remember that it is not only about you.  Very few things in life are.


Wednesday, February 26, 2020

Isabela Phoebe

I'm still, STILL, working on finishing up the hours I need for my Restorative Partner Yoga certification from Bodhi Yoga, but I am definitely getting there!  I think I only need three more!  Oh my goodness.  I am so so good at procrastinating!  It is indeed my greatest talent.

In my desperation I have turned to my family to be my guinea pigs.  I worked on Ibby for the first time in December and then she let me do it again the other night and there was something so sweet about it!  As I worked the sen lines on her legs and pressed the marma points on her arms I was reminded of when she was a baby and I'd rub her little body while she nursed.  I enjoyed her infancy so much!  We had just moved to this house and I finally felt settled after moving around for many many years.  We finally had enough room to stretch out and run around so we didn't feel so much like we were right on top of each other.  I also was taking my happy vitamins -- really it is fish oil -- but I was so so worried about experiencing postpartum depression again.  I had had it quite badly with both Charles and Lucinda, so I was dreading that baby time.  I had read somewhere that fish oil would help so I began to take it quite faithfully and lo and behold!  The dreaded depression and panic attacks never arrived!  It made such a difference!  And she was such a chill baby!  But I always wonder if it is a chicken and egg situation.  Was she chill because I was more calm?  Or was I more calm because she was chill?  She still is pretty mellow!  It is her personality for sure.  And the other two, are, shall we say, not, haha!

Anyway, it was really nice for me to be able to go back to that time, as it were.  Through the sense of touch I was able to recall that time so vividly and it was beautiful.  She is such a sweetie and I am trying to cherish these last couple of years with her home (sob, sob, sob).



Tuesday, February 25, 2020

Snowy Night

Here's to snow and not having the answers ❄️🌨️❄️

Snowy Night by Mary Oliver
Last night, an owl
in the blue dark
tossed
an indeterminate number
of carefully shaped sounds into
the world, in which,
a quarter of a mile away, I happened
to be standing.
I couldn’t tell
which one it was –
the barred or the great-horned
ship of the air –
it was that distant. But, anyway,
aren’t there moments
that are better than knowing something,
and sweeter? Snow was falling,
so much like stars
filling the dark trees
that one could easily imagine
its reason for being was nothing more
than prettiness. I suppose
if this were someone else’s story
they would have insisted on knowing
whatever is knowable – would have hurried
over the fields
to name it – the owl, I mean.
But it’s mine, this poem of the night,
and I just stood there, listening and holding out
my hands to the soft glitter
falling through the air. I love this world,
but not for its answers.
And I wish good luck to the owl,
whatever its name –
and I wish great welcome to the snow,
whatever its severe and comfortless
and beautiful meaning.

Friday, February 14, 2020

Valentine Sparkle

I hope that everyone had a sparkly day!



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