Tuesday, October 27, 2009

bento flashback

Do you ever feel like you aren't doing as much as you should be doing? My (lovely, adorable) friend posted this photo on facebook:(It is from this blog) and I thought it was so cute and wished once again that I possessed the wherewithal to do things like this for my kids. These same feelings surface every time I open up Family Fun magazine (for which, much to my chagrin and dismay, I have a four year subscription ~~ I had just woken from a nap, was pregnant, and didn't have the strength to refuse the completely annoying salesman, long story!) and see all of the endearing things they have created that would be found utterly delightful by any child and never be forgotten as they think back on their childhood and remember their dear, hardworking, fun-loving, sweet little mother. This photo also brings up traumatic memories of making bento lunches for my kids in Japan, but that is also another long story. The bottom line is that sometimes I feel bad about myself.

But then! I go somewhere like... well, almost anywhere in my town -- the grocery store, the post office, the bank, the library -- and my tune changes. For example, I went to the high school the other day for a parent/teacher conference and overheard a mother talking to her freshman daughter. She was being so mean, and just wouldn't stop talking, and her daughter just kept looking down, and I thought to myself that someday that daughter is going to hate her mother, leave home, and never look back and that mom is going to wonder why. And I hear people talking meanly and belittling their children in public ALL the time. It makes me so mad! And I want to pull them aside and have them take a step back and look, really look at their kids. "Can you see them? They are sweet, and trying to do their best, and are looking to you for help, not abuse and the chip, chip, chipping away I can see right before my eyes." So I try to remind myself to do the same. And I am sorry that it is at the expense of the poor children, but it does make me feel a little better about myself. My kids will probably survive without all of the bells and whistles as long as I remember what the priorities are: build up, let them know all the things that are right about them, feed them healthy food, provide a haven, encourage their faith, and give them lots of hugs. (And don't forget all of that laundry I have been doing, doing, doing).


Shaharac said...

Yes, you need to stop the mommy pitty party you have in your head. Because, I think, and I dare say I am right, that as you say in your very short bio that you are doing a great job at striving to be practically perfect in every way.
Oh - and thanks for this picture. I hate halloween, but I can probably get into doing some of these food items with my kids.

amylouwho said...

thanks for the reminder to be kinder. They are sweet. And just barely got here.

Melba said...

Thank you for the reminder that all those cute things that I never do either (an often feel terribly guilty about) aren't the most important. I needed that more than you know!

AndieF said...

Is it bad that Bento lunches TOTALLY freak me out? And there is NO way I would spend that much time on stuff my kids are just meant to eat??

But yea. I was talking with my VT, and we were talking about honestly, there is so much that we are "supposed" to do as mothers, when really, all we really need to do is just LOVE our kids. And you do that GREAT.

Anonymous said...

Feelin the love. Just hope I can pass it onto my kiddos.
We do bento lunches, but only because I have a kid who doesn't want any food touching. No fish or rice or egg or any of the trad. bento items.

Rural Entrepreneur said...

In Japan last week, I was sitting in a Starbucks, waiting to meet a client for a chat. I noticed a woman sitting nearby and thought "she looks like a cat." Then I remembered your theory that everyone looks like either a dog or a cat. I looked around, and indeed, everyone looked like either a dog or a cat. My analysis is that the people who look like cats are more fortunate, like the Sneeches who have stars on their bellies. The dog-look is not as appealing.

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