Nothing very funny or interesting has been happening lately. Just the same ole thing -- driving 50 places a day, wanting to move to Italy, not being able to swallow because there seems to be a rock in my esophagus -- yep, pretty much standard events.
I have another funeral to supervise, but I have no direction this time so it should be interesting. Another woman died of cancer this morning, but this time I was really so relieved more than anything because she has had cancer on and off for years and I saw her two weeks ago and she just seemed miserable. I'm sorry, but sometimes euthanasia seems so humane. Sorry God. When I saw her she didn't seem that close to death so fortunately things went somewhat quickly and smoothly. Downer. I found out last week that my dad has cancer and it has made me super emotional. It should be fine. It is just a reminder of our mortality that I didn't really want. I can't really talk about it.
Speaking of death (always a wonderful segue), Phin walked in about an hour ago with his mouth chock full of what I thought was some more Valentines candy he had scavenged from the girls' cupboard, but later I found an open bottle of Tums on the kitchen counter and realized that that was what he had hunted down instead. He has some kind of homing device in his brain for candy and Tums are brightly colored and fruity flavored -- fits the description pretty well. I tried to google its dangers, but besides kidney failure possibilities I couldn't really find any information. How worried should I be? I have had heartburn so badly that I honestly thought I was having a heart attack the other day, but the tums aren't working anyway so I should probably put them away, wouldn't you say?
Since I'm being a little morbid and depressing I will end with a little joke:
Her husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business fell, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. Well, now that I think about it, I think you bring me bad luck!