Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Questions

  1. Why haven't I been blogging?  Well, the answer to that is that I cannot think a thought so how could I possibly construct a coherent sentence?  It is beyond lovely to have everyone home, but there are often multiple people talking at once and many diverse activities to attend.  In other words, I have lost my mind somewhere along the way.  For example, Ella needs a memory card for her camera and Sam's Club has the best price.  I scheduled a visit into my afternoon, but when I found myself there I had no idea why.  I asked Ella if she remembered why we needed to go to Sam's and she said, "I don't know.  Cheese?"  It is true, they have the best cheese in town so we picked some up along with some cherries, edamame, and the good bread I can only find there.  Amazingly enough we walked out of there having spent less than $50, but it wasn't until 12 hours later I realized we had completely forgotten the whole purpose of the trip and no, this was not an isolated incident.  It regularly occurs even in the safety of my own home, "Why am I upstairs?"
  2. Why do people tell me how to parent?  Last week I drove girls to Peoria for Girls Camp.  It is always fun for me and on the way home I stopped at the big Goodwill there.  Baby was being patient, but after a while I let him get out of the cart to walk around a bit.  First he stopped and looked at a bike with me a foot away looking at shoes.  Lady says, "You shouldn't let your baby touch that bike, it could fall on him."  Does it look like I'm not watching him?  I am right here.  Two minutes later another lady, "Your baby doesn't have shoes on and might step on something, he has to stay in the cart."  He did have shoes on, but he never leaves them on and I guess we will just leave now, but while it is taking them a very long time to carefully wrap up my deliciously turquoise platters (yea!) I hand him a little toy to keep him from screaming since he is no longer allowed to walk around and am promptly told that it has very small parts on which he could choke.  You know what?  I am going to choke if everyone doesn't just leave me alone, okay?  After the stress of Goodwill I stop to grab some fast food for lunch and decide to get a soda with caffeine so I won't get sleepy on the drive home.  I sit down at the table and a man (two tables away) notices me wrestling with the baby trying to divert him from my drink and entice him with water.  The man shouts across several people, "Your baby wants some of your pop.  You should just give him some."  "I know he wants some, but it has caffeine, so no."  I reply with a smile.  "A little caffeine won't hurt him.  Give him a little."  "Well, I don't really think so... thanks."  "Then you should give him root beer.  It doesn't have caffeine."  "It is Barq's and it does have caffeine and he doesn't need soda anyway."  "Oh, no it doesn't have caffeine.  I am not supposed to have caffeine and I drink it all the time."  Well, you shouldn't be.   Oh my goodness, will you just leave me alone already?  I eventually just got up and went to eat in my car in peace.
  3. Why do they even make 1-ply toilet paper?  I try to be vigilant, but about once or twice a year I drop my guard.  Need I say more?

5 comments:

lisa said...

You crack me up! Ok, so please give me a description of these RUDE people! I am going to go and find them! Bwaahaaaa!

I mean really........... I have seen some interesting parenting techniques (YOURS=TOTALLY NORMAL or we are both getting kicked out and going into remedial parenting 101)but bringing those things up is just NOYB!! Ok, and I am with you sistah about the 1 ply! What the heck is it good for other than (clearing throat) tp burn! I was trying to "save" $ and got cheap 1 ply from Aldi.............NEVER again!

HARA said...

This is a great post. AMEN sister, to 1, 2 and 3.

corn fed girl said...

Have we met? I'm your twin sister! 1-ply & nosy good for nothing no it alls stink!

Stacey said...

YOU CRACK ME UP!! I never even make a list when I go to the store so that stuff happens to me all the time. You should have told all the "know-it-alls" that you have 4 other children and that they are all still alive and doing quite well thank you very much!! You should have told them all that you WERE actually TRYING to HARM him and that maybe they should call DCFS right away. I would have been livid!!

Paul said...

Ok, I have another one for you. "Why can't we just talk instead of take turns to tell about our lives?" :)

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