These feelings all come to a head at transformative times like the New Year, springtime, school ending -- like now! I always have lists and lists of things I put off and think I will have much more time to do them during the lazy days of summer -- finally painting the back door, deep cleaning the corners, reupholstering the dining room chairs, learning a new language, practicing the piano, putting down on paper the abstract ideas in my head. However, every year when summer arrives I realize that realistically I probably won't get a single thing done until the kids are all back at school again in the fall. Everyone being home is more chaos and romping, the yardwork and housework boil over, and we have to get our money's worth out of that pool pass!
I am happy. I am thankful for my blessings, love my family, glad I have work and ability -- just pining for something and thought I would have figured out what it was by now...