A few years ago I saw that some people were choosing a word to be a theme, as it were, for the year. I thought that was a great idea and chose one for that year, but haven't done it since. Last week I started getting so excited for the new year -- fresh start, clean slate, new resolve! And thought I should come up with a word again, but, alas, the only word I could come up with was "Bleh." Not very inspiring.
For a New Year's surprise we thought it would be fun to go on a little trip and so we very spontaneously went to the Wisconsin Dells for Monday and Tuesday. I guess we are true Midwesterners now! We stayed at Great Wolf Lodge and the kids played in the indoor water park for hours and hours. The trip up there was a little laborious as we stopped for frequent potty and nursing breaks, and I got a mild toothache from gritting my teeth while Charles careened up the freeway, but other than that we had a grand time. So that was the good BANG.
The bad BANG was that on the second day of the new year when I was so determined to be a new and better person I not only ate way too many chips, but I did something terrible to someone. I forgot that we had piano lessons on Monday. I didn't remember on Friday night when we made our reservations. I didn't remember on Saturday when I bought supplies. I didn't remember on Sunday when we packed our bags. I didn't remember on Monday when we raced each other down the water slides. I didn't remember until I saw a phone message from our teacher at 11:30 that night and I groaned as I listened to her annoyed voice. I decided to call her in the morning, but she beat me to it. First thing in the morning I saw that it was her and reluctantly said hello. She asked if we were alright and I said yes, we had just spontaneously decided to go out of town. Then she asked if I had offended her in some way. What? Like I completely forgot out of malice? LIke I did remember, but didn't care that I was making someone drive to my house and wasn't going to be there? No, no, I just forgot! It was a holiday, Matthew decided to take some time off (he still worked up there), and when we're off schedule I sometimes get confused about time. She told me that she had left a family gathering to come to my house and could've spent more time with her sister who lives in Virginia. That is so frustrating! I totally understand why she would be upset! She then said this had happened before and how could we make sure it didn't happen again? I remembered that when I had a four day old baby the kids went to the children's museum and weren't there for their lesson. Sorry! I think the only way to make sure it doesn't happen is for her to stop teaching us, not that I want her to. She is incredibly nice and it is wonderful that she comes to our house. That might be part of the problem, that I don't have to think about going somewhere so I forget -- I am often slightly surprised when I see her at the door -- but I miss other things, too, like orthodontist appointments, picking up kids, etc. so she shouldn't take it personally. I got off the phone with her, crying, and yelled at my family, "Did anyone remember that we had piano lessons?" No one did, but it fell on my shoulders, of course.
At any rate I just felt so badly about the whole thing! I walked around the entire second day at the resort with a sick feeling in my stomach wondering what I could have done differently because I didn't do anything on purpose to be so incredibly rude. And the only conclusion that I could reach is that I'm just lame. No excuses there, just truth. And I do want to do and be better, but sometimes the list of my faults seems too overwhelmingly extensive. Where do I even start with resolutions for the new year? Procure a new brain, if possible?