Monday, June 20, 2011

the mystery of the malodorous bedchamber

It was a night much like other nights, in which I had gotten up multiple times to use the loo. Every time I returned to my bedroom I was hit by a horrible stench.  After a moment, it would lose its potency, but every time I left and returned I would notice it again.  I thought it must be something in the laundry basket since children as a whole can be a smelly bunch, so first thing in the morning I removed the whole thing... but the smell was still there.  I began to investigate and finally moved a bag of clothes behind my door and found a wet diaper (Phin still wears one at night, no it wasn't that old) which hadn't quite made it to the trash bin.  Aha!  That must be it.  It couldn't have been there very long, but it has been rather warm, so that explains the smell.  I quickly took it downstairs, but when I next was in my room... the smell was still there.  I scrubbed and scrubbed the floor where I had found the  offending item, then I sprayed the whole room down with air freshener.  That would help for a bit, but after a time it was obvious that... the smell was still there.  Every day for three days I would try something new, but nothing was working, I even lifted up the recliner as best as I could alone, but only found some stray legos.  Could one little diaper do so much damage that even the very walls had absorbed the stink?  On Saturday we decided to take the room apart little by little.  I would sweep the dust bunnies away while Matthew scrubbed the floors and walls with something stronger... but the smell was still there. I looked around and couldn't see what could possibly be so fragrant.  My room really isn't that full of stuff so it just didn't make sense.  Last thing, Matthew took off our mattress and box springs and we were both pleasantly surprised by how clean under our bed was.  I washed all of the bedding, even the bedskirt, and we sprayed down every inch of the room with febreze.  Even with all of those masking chemicals it truly seemed like the smell was getting worse and not better.  Charles came in to help Matthew put the bed back together, first the box springs and then the mattress which had been propped against the wall.  It started to slide forward pulling the carpet out from under the recliner with it.  "AAAAAACK!"  I shrieked, "There's a dead mouse over there!"  And so there was.  It had been under the carpet, under the recliner, and we had probably walked over (and ON) it many a time in our quest to solve the mystery.  Ewww!  Ella said that our cat must really consider us her masters since she brought the mouse to us, to which my husband replied, "If it is really my cat, then that means I can just get rid of her."  I am sure that she offered it to us as a devoted oblation, but no thank you very much.  Matthew swept it up and took it out and just like that -- poof!  The smell had vanished.  All day yesterday we kept talking about how lovely our room smells now, but it still makes me want to move to a different house a little bit.


There!  Isn't that gross?

5 comments:

Jen said...

I feel 7.9 times on the stink scale worse for you since you are pregnant.

Normal Mom said...

Hate. Mice. But laughing now because my word verification is "mices" :)

corn fed girl said...

Thanks for making me gag!

amylouwho said...

disgustingly hilarious!

HARA said...

EWWWW. That is really gross. Beautifully written, I was waiting for you to discover something in your mattress. I'm glad you discovered it. How are you and how is baby? We should attempt to catch up soon.

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