Friday, November 21, 2008

"Nothing more than feelings!"

So the first point in my parenting book is to not deny your children's feelings. I thought, 'Oh, I don't do that. I let them feel everything to the max.' And then I started listening to myself. I am always telling them that they're not mad, they're not bored, they're ready for bed, they need to use the bathroom, stop crying, don't be frustrated, deny, deny, deny! That seems to be a primary goal of each day. I am trying to practice this week. Last night we went to a program at the girls' school. The baby was crawling on the wood floor of the gym, lost his balance, and face planted right into the floor. I quickly scooped him up, patted his back, and said, "You're okay, you're okay..." I suddenly broke off and thought, 'Wait, he is not okay. It is not okay to smack your face into the floor. How would I feel if that had happened to me?' So I suddenly switched gears and said, "Oh, that really hurts. Your face does not feel good. That hurts, that hurts." I need to learn an entirely new language!

Charles has a scout campout tonight and the low is going to be 15˚. He kept asking all afternoon if I had received any phone calls with cancellation news. Alas, no. I feel bad that he has to go, but if he complained to me my initial response would probably be, "You're not cold."


Stacey said...

I feel bad for Charles with the campout. Kyle tried to come up with a way to cancel but there wasn't one. I sent him a text message earlier and he said he was too cold to type. I am so glad I am a woman!!

Amylouwho said...

I've read stuff like that too. Something about toddlers being like cavepeople and you have to validate what they say by repeating it back to them. It helps when I remember to do it... but it's along the same vein in letting them have their turn and have feelings.

Lately though, I've been saying the 'stop screaming and crying' phrase quite a bit. I love 3 year olds.

My name is Lexi said...

julie again, not lexi...

i love your reaction to phin's fall.

your title made me laugh because brock had that song stuck in his head last week, and we kept laughing about how dumb it was.

more proof that you're beat yourself up over motherhood and strive to do your best....a very blue thing to do.

we are so not red! :)

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