seventeen years

Seventeen years ago today, Matthew and I got married. How could this be? I don't feel that much older than 17 now, but of course I must be. I look back and feel like we hardly knew each other then and know that it was God's hand that brought us together. I always am fascinated by how two people meet, but so easily could have never met, and then decide to never be apart again. The longer we are together the better suited I think we become.

There is one thing that is an irritation to me, but upon reflection (and the viewpoint of my good friend, Berta) it is that very trait that I think makes us infinitely compatible. Sometimes I wish that my husband were more "take charge", if you will. There is something in me that wants to step back and not be responsible for so many things, but I realize that Matthew is merely being very, very nice and no one can say that he isn't one of the most amiable guys you could ever meet.  And I wouldn't be happy with someone who didn't let me do any ole' thing I wanted to. He doesn't care if I want to: cut my hair, dig up the back lawn to plant a garden, have a home birth, take an art class, make strange meals, home school my kids, train to be a Bradley teacher, gain 50 pounds, have more kids, not have more kids, paint the bedroom, buy a 36" inch deep tub, talk about baby names even when I'm not pregnant, stay up late, rant, rearrange the furniture, go to Kmart 12 times in one week when they are having double coupons, not make dinner, watch Pride and Prejudice, be obsessed with things, not stick things out, go on some crazy diet, bring furniture home I found on the side of the road, buy fabric I never use, buy lots of other things I don't need, laugh too hard, start a blog, go to Ikea, worry, visit museums, try another crazy diet, go hours out of our way to visit National Parks, not eat meat, buy all of my clothes at Goodwill, get a new pet, cry about a fictional character in a book, etc.  He just says, "Okay."  Admittedly, more hesitantly at times than others, but mostly he is very supportive of anything I want to do.  What a marvel.

And he is so good.  He wakes up early and spends an hour reading scriptures, meditating, and planning his day.  He makes all kinds of goals and is very good at having dreams for the future. This is one way in which we are so different.  What a great example he is to me of self-mastery and discipline.  I can't plan ahead very far seeing as how I am always pretty sure in the back of my mind that we won't be alive in 5 years.  Why plan?  He is always pointing out that we are a good parenting team and that our kids will be well-rounded coming from two such opposite people.   Also, M is very smart.  I love his reasonable and thought out opinions on music, religion, politics, etc. and we enjoy many energetic exchanges on a wide variety of topics.

Thank you for being a great companion, a wonderful father, and mostly for not only letting me, but helping me, be the best ME possible.